Dear Mom On The Playground

To the mother that taught her son how to bully my son,

It started out as such a good morning. The temps were cool enough to open the windows early this morning. We enjoyed our pancakes on the front porch and then waved at the garbage men as they drove down our street collecting trash. We came back inside to finish chores, I had loads of laundry to fold and put away and dishes to finish. But Ryder asked to go to the playground. I started to tell him that it just wasn't a good day for it. We had errands to run and chores to do. But he pushed and begged to play on the slides. You see, we went to the park the other day to play in the splash pad. A school bus full of rather large (and rude) school-agers quickly filled every available space in the splash pad and on the playground. He wanted so badly to go on the slides but I said no. He was already getting pushed around in a spot designed for small children. We came home with lots of tears and disappointment. I was okay with the decision to leave the park. He needed a nap and we had more fun playing outside and sharing ice cream. So when he asked me the next morning to go play on the slides, I felt the need to say yes.

We arrived at the park just before eleven. There were close to a dozen small kids there and they were all playing nicely. I watched as my son played with these other children for an hour. The ran circles around us grown-ups and went down the slides more times than I can count. They were having a blast! That's when I noticed you and your son walking over to the bench that I was sitting on. Ryder had mastered walking over a metal climber that was new to him. He stepped onto the platform and sent me a huge smile. I cheered him on and told him how proud I was of his accomplishment. That's when it happened.

I don't know if he did it because Ryder was standing where he needed to step or if that's just his form of communication. Either way, your son knocked my son to the floor using both hands to push him down. He fell with such force that both knees were instantly red and the palms of his hands bruised. He also hit his chin. Then, your son started screaming at my son. "Get outta my way you little baby!" I walked over to the boys so quickly that I hadn't noticed you walking behind me. I picked up my now hurt and crying child and said to him, "Tell that boy not to push you. Tell him no! Pushing is not nice!" Then I proceeded to tell your son pushing hurts and that he needed to say sorry. That's when you stepped in. Most of the time when a quarrel happens on the playground, the other parent steps in and we diffuse the situation together. It takes a team. One parent to force rules and the other parent to make sure no feeling are hurt. (It can be embarrassing when your child is the one who caused harm.) We show them how to play together so that no one gets hurt. But that isn't what happened. You then turned to me with anger in your eyes and scolded me for talking to your son like that. You turned to your son and said, "It's okay honey, you don't have to play with bratty babies."

I swallowed my pride and packed up our things. There are so many things I could have and should have said to you. But instead, I had to explain to my two year old why a big kid (he looked 4 or 5) can be so mean and not get in trouble. My son learned a new word today. He learned the word "bully". He also learned that sometimes there are people who will not be nice and treat you with respect. He got more ice cream today and extra cuddles. And I'm so glad that my little baby gives hugs to other kids while they are playing. Thank you for reminding me why teaching my son to respect others is a top priority for me. Should my child every cause harm to another child on the playground, you best believe he will be saying sorry for his actions!

To end this on a good note, look how big Ryder is getting! He was so proud and excited that he can do this without my help.